I awoke this morning thinking about my circumstances, feeling a little sorry for myself. I have a touch of flu and nothing is going my way, blah! blah! blah! Oh poor little old ME! ME! ME! Oh man I wanted to have a mega pity party and invite the world - Wow seriously! I didn't even notice that the beast was gathering momentum,,, at first. It starts with an unhealthy inward look, unhealthy because one is not looking for positives but rather the negatives and so begins the journey to deep depression - for me anyway.
Self pity gradually becomes self doubt and moves steadily toward self loathing but the common denominator is always, self! self! self! Sometimes this journey can take days and at other times it can take only minutes but one thing is certain, if I don't grab those reigns and pull this beast in quick smart it could be a long hard journey back, assuming that I can gain control of the beast in the first place. If the beast is not gathered it will take me to it's lair and that is where hope is devoured and once this happens, I know that there is no way back. The light at the end of the tunnel is 'hope' and once extinguished there is no escaping the dark.
Even writing about this is putting a lot of focus on self and this is always a dangerous move. Yes you may question my sanity, why not? I do! We often joke about the voices in our head's but this is not too far from the truth as we do justify ourselves which requires reasoning and what is reasoning if not opposites to a notion or 'an argument', often referred to as the 'voice of reason'. How do we get into this predicament in the first place? I can only speak for myself and I know that for me it begins with desire - "I want" and here too is positive and negative desire. Examples would be. 1) Positive; love, good relationships, happiness. 2) Negative; covet (why use many words when one will do) 'lifestyle'.
Fortunately as I sat at my computer catching up on social media almost every story I looked at not only handed me the reigns, but lent strength to pull the beast up short. The first, a 10 year old girl with her little brother, hungry and scavenging for food scraps in the dirt of a worn torn country wishing blessings of gratitude to those who 'have'... like me! Reality check - it's not all about ME! for a start and secondly I should be grateful for the many blessings I do have. Time to give thanks for all the positives and there are an abundance of these, blatantly obvious when reality is actually 'In focus'.
There were many other examples today but the second story which captured my attention was that of a beautiful young lady who was robbed of her tablet by a couple of criminals, what made this story special was that the young lady felt sorry for the criminals whom she had forgiven and said had "bigger problems than me" - the problem she was referring to was the fact that she is wheelchair bound by Cerebral Palsy. Her primary concern is for the rest of us because they (the criminals) may target us.
I thank my friends and family on social media who have taken an interest in these stories because it is they who have empowered me through their empathy. The beast is well and truly under control, back in it's cage where it belongs.
Till next time - take care and stay safe!