I was thinking about the huge changes that have taken place in my life over the last couple of years when I came upon the following post on Facebook by Alan Garrity, which describes to a tee the transformation that has taken place in my life. As Alan says, "I hope it helps someone through their bad times."
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH!
Enough of the wishing, fighting and crying, or, the struggling just to hold on.
This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) or any guarantees of "happily ever after.”
So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow."
You accept the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK ... they are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer” hungry for your next fix, or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships.
You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest.
Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean, or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through...
You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture.
And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your own needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things.
You learn that you don't know all the answers, and it's not your job to save
the world, and that sometimes you just need to.... Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending
time "with yourself" and "on yourself."
You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected... and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it...
Most of all… Be kind and gentle to yourself.
Till next time, God Bless!