Affirmative action

Day one of my new affirmative action plan to improve self esteem was no resounding success but I know what the cause of my problems are and I just need to look at some of my family and friends to know that my problems are insignificant in the overall scheme of things. I can at least do something about mine and whilst I feel that I am probably projecting as a very self centred pratt I do have the well being of these very dear ones in my thoughts and prayers.

I took time out yesterday afternoon whilst attempting to reconcile accounts. I became a little confused so rather than do the usual, "keep going till you get it right" thought and allow it to pull down my self confidence I worked on the second mini holiday movie and had a ball as I am gaining confidence in something that I do enjoy. This has helped me get this day started on a positive note.

I am writing the thoughts as they come to mind but am trying to stay fluid for my own sake and those of my loved ones. I say this because I do not want to say anything that could add to their pain but at the same time they are very much in the forefront of my thoughts. One family is on the long road to recovery following the recent tragedy of losing a child and taking life 'one breath at a time'. The other is closer to home also taking life 'one breath at a time' having lost one child and constantly in fear of losing another. The latter causes my breath to catch and my heart to stop each time the ambulance is called. My worst fear and most taboo topic is very much in the forefront of my thoughts this morning.

I need to change the focus my thoughts, have a coffee and backup emails and other morning data. While the computers are busy I'l brows the social networks in search of inspiration, starting with Ed my brother in law, he always has a positive or thought provoking quote. Psych myself up for today's challenge - here we go.